Snowstorms, Fixer Uppers, and My Own Ridiculous Expectations... 

I’m sitting here bracing myself for the bombardment of snow that is beginning to fall in our area.  It is predicted to be a record breaking storm with totals as high as twenty to thirty inches.  A state of emergency has been declared, weekend events have been cancelled, and the empty grocery store shelves that I walked by two nights ago looked like something out of an episode of The Walking Dead.   It appears from everything that I have read, heard, and seen that this storm is going to go down according to plan.  Despite the potential for power outages and the threat of dangerous conditions that a storm like this can bring, this is the kind of blizzard that I like the best; one with a plan that has met the expectations.

Expectations.  There’s a word.

I don’t know about you, but I’m really good at setting them.  And while it’s great to have goals and something to aspire to in life, I’m learning that some expectations can come with a lot of unnecessary pressure and that’s not always so dandy.  The other problem too, I suppose, is that the expectations aren’t usually for me.  

They’re for everyone else.

Given the unpredictability of weather, I don’t envy the job of a meteorologist any time of year but I especially would not want their job in the winter.  A weather prediction becomes the expectation and if it is not met, the online jungle that we are living in quickly becomes a breeding ground for judgement and harsh comments towards the poor weather soothsayer who got it wrong.  And let’s not even talk about the suffering soul who has to bear the weight of deciding school closures.  Good grief. 

Let’s face it...sometimes storms just don’t live up to all the hype.  And while I realize that the negligent Nostradamus who forecasted the storm and got it wrong should not have to be roasted for it, I have to confess that my response to my own unexpected let downs in life are sometimes not much better than the cranky so-called weather fans who didn't get the white stuff that they wanted.  I’m not proud to admit it, but I can easily put unfair expectations on those that I love and then cut them to the quick when they just don’t measure up to what I had in mind.

This is a really difficult thing for me to write about because I want you to think that I am really loving and accepting and patient and kind.  I aspire to be those things in all areas of my life. I really, really do.  But the thing is that like you, I'm only human and that whole humanity thing can often get in the way of how I'm supposed to be living and loving on this journey called life. 

Here’s an example from just the other day.  I just want to preface this story by letting you know that yes these words came out of my mouth and while they were somewhat half jokingly said, there was a part of me that really was, in some bizarre subconscious way, putting this expectation on my husband....

The hubs and I are huge fans of Fixer Upper on HGTV.  We love Chip and Joanna and aspire to be just like them.  Not only do we delight in their eye for remodeling and design, but we love how funny they are together.  I am particularly fond of how side-splittingly supportive Chip is with Jo-Jo and feel that every husband can learn something from him in terms of the art of flattery with your wife.  So, the other day I was really excited about something and couldn't wait for my man to get home so I could share it with him.  Before he even really got in the door and had a chance to take off his coat, I had unloaded the entire entertaining event with more excitement than I had mustered up in a long time.  His response was.. well...a little lacking.  

And what was my snappy comeback to the man that I love who hadn't even had a chance to say hi to the kids yet?  I immediately thought of the beloved couple that we adore and this is what blurted out of my mouth…

“That is not how Chip would have responded to Jo-Jo.”

I then went on to explain that Chip would have had a much more excited reaction for Jo-Jo than the dead in the water reply that I just received.  Needless to say, my helpmate in life proceeded to spend the next five minutes reminding me that not only is he not Chip Gaines, but we don’t have a television show or any real talent for home renovations. He also let me in on the fact that I am no Joanna when it comes to the free spirited- let's try some adventure in life perspective that she has so I really had no room to talk.  A much needed reality check had been delivered my way.  I had done it again and was devastated to say the least at the revelation that not only were we not the power couple of shiplap and light fixtures, but also that I had pretty much expected that we could be if only I could just get an upgrade in the encouragement department.

I'll take some unrealistic expectations for my spouse with a side of nothing out of the ordinary for me, please.  

Unfortunately, I can fall into the expectancy trap pretty easily.  I forget that life isn’t supposed to be perfect.  I watch a show, I see something online, I talk to someone who seems to be living the dream and before I know it, I think that my little world and the people in it should be more.

Let's put the brakes on the crazy train here for a moment and get back to the blizzard at hand....

The weather is a perfect metaphor for life in that so much of it is out of my control.  I can't control events.  I can't control people.  Most days, I can barely control myself.  And yet, somewhere along this fun little journey of life, I picked up the idea that not only was I capable of controlling others with unrealistic expectations, but that it was my job to do it.  Worse yet, I can think of things that I let myself off the hook for a thousand times a day but woe to anyone else who doesn't measure up in my eyes.  

And can I just take this one step further in an effort for you to really understand the hypocrisy here?  I believe that God loves me just the way that I am.  I believe that there is not a single thing that I can do to measure up to his standards and that he still loves me anyhow.  The confidence that I have in that promise is what gets me through most days on this earth (well, that and getting frustrated with my loved ones for their shortcomings, apparently.)  
 
This whole dilemma is really nothing more than a reflection of the big storm that rages in my mind and heart.  I'm riddled with blowing winds of insecurity, barometric pressure changes in the measuring up department, drifting flakes of what my life should and shouldn't look like, and howling winds of scornful pride.  

So, in an effort to be a little bit more like Jo-Jo, I'm going to set out on a little adventure in redesign when it comes to caving to the pressure of unrealistic expectations. And in doing so, I hope to see the benefit of a fuller life that looks a little less like turning a prediction into an expectation and a little more like finding the beauty in letting the snow fall where it may.