Kelly's Painting Journey: Saying Yes to New Perspective
"I think that God is going to show you how much he loves you through this process...."
Those were some of the first words spoken into Kelly’s life by another artist when she began a painting journey two years ago. Always a person who loved to create, she remembers spending hours drawing on her chalkboard when she was a little girl. She also enjoyed sketching in high school art class, and loved to see her finished pieces hanging on the walls in her home. But she didn't really pursue art after graduation.
“I really didn’t value creativity at the time,” she explained as we sat together in her kitchen. "I didn't realize that it was such a big part of me. Looking back though, I have always had this intrinsic desire to create. Sometimes it would involve the decorative process in my home, or refinishing furniture, or even painting something for my daughter or one of her friends.”
Unsure of how to really pinpoint what all of these stirrings in her heart had to do with anything, she went about her busy life of raising three kids, teaching part-time, and helping her husband’s small business grow. But God was working in the midst of the busyness, orchestrating events and people to come into her life to point her in the right direction. It began with a friend who owned a nonprofit that mentored young artists. He invited Kelly to attend a gathering where she met a local artist, Karen, who asked her to take a painting class. A few weeks prior, another friend had been in a craft store and felt like she should purchase a painting kit for Kelly and drop it off at her house. Already stocked with supplies, Kelly knew that this invitation to paint was one that she was meant to accept.
As exciting as this opportunity might sound, taking this class would mean that Kelly would have to overcome some insecurities and doubts about herself. Incredibly, she wouldn't really know that until she sat down to paint for the first time with a group of other artists. This journey would quickly become more about what God was doing in her than what she is doing with a paintbrush.
"I remember feeling so overwhelmed on the first night of class. I just wanted to go hide in the bathroom and have someone paint for me,” she recalled. “I didn’t want to make a mistake.” Despite her initial frustration that first night, Kelly continued to take the class and she and Karen became friends. Residents of the same small town outside of Annapolis, they even began to carpool to class together.
“That time in the car driving to and from class meant so much to me. I had no idea what I was doing and I was so terrified. Karen really took me under her wing and spoke so much encouragement into my life. It was more than just learning about how to paint. I walked away from my conversations with her feeling like it was okay to be unsure of what I was doing,” said Kelly.
Those words of wisdom began to take on a life of their own in Kelly's heart and mind as she began to grow in confidence and Karen continued to talk to her about how the creative process was about so much more than the artwork itself.
“God began and is still doing so much in me through this painting journey," she reflected. "From picking the paint, to mixing the colors, from the subject I choose to paint to selling a finished piece, there is something new to be learned throughout the process. I am realizing that things don't have to look perfect. There is no legalism in art, no right or wrong with painting. I can tend to get stuck in this rut of feeling pressured that I always have to make the right choice. God has shown me these things about myself through painting. It’s really a mirror image of the way I see life and see myself.”
Kelly continued to meet with Karen for painting tips and encouragement even after the class had ended. Then, one day while looking for a sturdy painting easel, she visited a vendors market. People from miles around come to this event in search of items from shabby chic furniture, to artwork, to that one quintessential must have for the perfect spot in their home. While inquiring about an easel, the owner of the venue asked Kelly if she was a painter. She was specifically looking for paintings of cows.
Kelly had just finished a cow painting that week.
Scrolling through the photos on her phone, Kelly found the picture of the cow that she had painted. The venue owner loved it along with some of the other pieces, and asked Kelly if she wanted to sell them. Before she knew it, Kelly was dropping off a collection of paintings to be sold.
"I cried the entire time on my way to drop off the paintings," she confessed. "I was a nervous wreck. I felt vulnerable and terrified. I was consumed by the fear of failure and rejection. It just felt safer in that moment to keep my paintings to myself. I felt like I didn’t belong among the other artists. I was totally exposed. It was so stressful. I just couldn’t enjoy the moment."
While finding the courage to drop off her work might have seemed like a victory, she then found herself struggling to actually attend the event. She didn't want to see people looking at her work. She didn't want to know what they thought of it.
"As much as I wanted to stay away from the show that weekend, I knew that God was calling me to go and face my fear," said Kelly. She walked in to find the owner standing there, who immediately told her that her cow painting had sold. Kelly was in total shock. She went home feeling excited, but only told her husband and a close friend or two. She went on to sell three more paintings that weekend in December.
“Selling those paintings was definitely a confirmation from God that this was the journey I was supposed to be on,” she explained. “It wasn’t about the money, but rather the momentum that I needed to keep pushing me forward.”
She continued to paint that winter and submitted more paintings for the spring venue. This time, she dropped off a collection of thirteen pieces. Feeling just as nervous as before, she would quickly find out that this experience was going to be different. This time, the owner of the show asked her to also work at the venue.
“God wasn’t going to let me avoid being around people who were looking at my paintings. He plopped me down right in the middle of it. I know it sounds crazy, to be this afraid of someone looking at your artwork, but this whole process was just so foreign to me. I still had no idea what I was doing there. It was almost as if God wasn’t going to let me run away and hide from what he was trying to give me,” she said, taking a tissue and wiping a tear from her eye.
But the courage to sell her artwork wasn’t the only thing that God was going to give her that weekend. Kelly also had the opportunity to meet the woman who bought her first cow painting at the December show. “I felt like that was another gift that God gave me. That woman told me how much joy that cow brings her and how she loves to drink her coffee and look at it in the morning. She still encourages me on Instagram to keep painting.”
Kelly went on to sell seven of the thirteen paintings that she submitted that weekend. Looking back over the past two years, she is thankful for the progress that she has made as a painter, but for Kelly, it really isn’t about the painting. She took those words that were first spoken to her by a friend and held onto them...…
"I think God is going to show you how much he loves you through this process...."
“Painting is a gift that God has given me to show me that he has beauty to reveal in the midst of the hard and often mundane parts of life. Somewhere along the road of life, I picked up this idea that life had to look a certain way. God is showing me that the things I never dreamed of doing as a little girl or young adult are the very things that he wants to give me.”
School is ending for Kelly's kids this week. Her house will soon be filled with teenagers and her calendar filled with summer plans. She’s not really sure where this painting journey is going or how often she will have time to paint, but she does know that it is something that she will continue to do. Looking back, she now sees that the random bits of creativity throughout her life that she thought meant nothing were actually the very things that God was using to reveal himself to her.
“God has taken a creative passion that He placed inside of me and has used it to teach me more about myself and about Him. Painting has helped me to see myself with a new identity. I am loved. I am free."
That sounds like a whole lot of something to me.
Those were some of the first words spoken into Kelly’s life by another artist when she began a painting journey two years ago. Always a person who loved to create, she remembers spending hours drawing on her chalkboard when she was a little girl. She also enjoyed sketching in high school art class, and loved to see her finished pieces hanging on the walls in her home. But she didn't really pursue art after graduation.
“I really didn’t value creativity at the time,” she explained as we sat together in her kitchen. "I didn't realize that it was such a big part of me. Looking back though, I have always had this intrinsic desire to create. Sometimes it would involve the decorative process in my home, or refinishing furniture, or even painting something for my daughter or one of her friends.”
Unsure of how to really pinpoint what all of these stirrings in her heart had to do with anything, she went about her busy life of raising three kids, teaching part-time, and helping her husband’s small business grow. But God was working in the midst of the busyness, orchestrating events and people to come into her life to point her in the right direction. It began with a friend who owned a nonprofit that mentored young artists. He invited Kelly to attend a gathering where she met a local artist, Karen, who asked her to take a painting class. A few weeks prior, another friend had been in a craft store and felt like she should purchase a painting kit for Kelly and drop it off at her house. Already stocked with supplies, Kelly knew that this invitation to paint was one that she was meant to accept.
As exciting as this opportunity might sound, taking this class would mean that Kelly would have to overcome some insecurities and doubts about herself. Incredibly, she wouldn't really know that until she sat down to paint for the first time with a group of other artists. This journey would quickly become more about what God was doing in her than what she is doing with a paintbrush.
"I remember feeling so overwhelmed on the first night of class. I just wanted to go hide in the bathroom and have someone paint for me,” she recalled. “I didn’t want to make a mistake.” Despite her initial frustration that first night, Kelly continued to take the class and she and Karen became friends. Residents of the same small town outside of Annapolis, they even began to carpool to class together.
“That time in the car driving to and from class meant so much to me. I had no idea what I was doing and I was so terrified. Karen really took me under her wing and spoke so much encouragement into my life. It was more than just learning about how to paint. I walked away from my conversations with her feeling like it was okay to be unsure of what I was doing,” said Kelly.
Those words of wisdom began to take on a life of their own in Kelly's heart and mind as she began to grow in confidence and Karen continued to talk to her about how the creative process was about so much more than the artwork itself.
“God began and is still doing so much in me through this painting journey," she reflected. "From picking the paint, to mixing the colors, from the subject I choose to paint to selling a finished piece, there is something new to be learned throughout the process. I am realizing that things don't have to look perfect. There is no legalism in art, no right or wrong with painting. I can tend to get stuck in this rut of feeling pressured that I always have to make the right choice. God has shown me these things about myself through painting. It’s really a mirror image of the way I see life and see myself.”
Kelly continued to meet with Karen for painting tips and encouragement even after the class had ended. Then, one day while looking for a sturdy painting easel, she visited a vendors market. People from miles around come to this event in search of items from shabby chic furniture, to artwork, to that one quintessential must have for the perfect spot in their home. While inquiring about an easel, the owner of the venue asked Kelly if she was a painter. She was specifically looking for paintings of cows.
Kelly had just finished a cow painting that week.
Scrolling through the photos on her phone, Kelly found the picture of the cow that she had painted. The venue owner loved it along with some of the other pieces, and asked Kelly if she wanted to sell them. Before she knew it, Kelly was dropping off a collection of paintings to be sold.
"I cried the entire time on my way to drop off the paintings," she confessed. "I was a nervous wreck. I felt vulnerable and terrified. I was consumed by the fear of failure and rejection. It just felt safer in that moment to keep my paintings to myself. I felt like I didn’t belong among the other artists. I was totally exposed. It was so stressful. I just couldn’t enjoy the moment."
While finding the courage to drop off her work might have seemed like a victory, she then found herself struggling to actually attend the event. She didn't want to see people looking at her work. She didn't want to know what they thought of it.
"As much as I wanted to stay away from the show that weekend, I knew that God was calling me to go and face my fear," said Kelly. She walked in to find the owner standing there, who immediately told her that her cow painting had sold. Kelly was in total shock. She went home feeling excited, but only told her husband and a close friend or two. She went on to sell three more paintings that weekend in December.
“Selling those paintings was definitely a confirmation from God that this was the journey I was supposed to be on,” she explained. “It wasn’t about the money, but rather the momentum that I needed to keep pushing me forward.”
She continued to paint that winter and submitted more paintings for the spring venue. This time, she dropped off a collection of thirteen pieces. Feeling just as nervous as before, she would quickly find out that this experience was going to be different. This time, the owner of the show asked her to also work at the venue.
“God wasn’t going to let me avoid being around people who were looking at my paintings. He plopped me down right in the middle of it. I know it sounds crazy, to be this afraid of someone looking at your artwork, but this whole process was just so foreign to me. I still had no idea what I was doing there. It was almost as if God wasn’t going to let me run away and hide from what he was trying to give me,” she said, taking a tissue and wiping a tear from her eye.
But the courage to sell her artwork wasn’t the only thing that God was going to give her that weekend. Kelly also had the opportunity to meet the woman who bought her first cow painting at the December show. “I felt like that was another gift that God gave me. That woman told me how much joy that cow brings her and how she loves to drink her coffee and look at it in the morning. She still encourages me on Instagram to keep painting.”
Kelly went on to sell seven of the thirteen paintings that she submitted that weekend. Looking back over the past two years, she is thankful for the progress that she has made as a painter, but for Kelly, it really isn’t about the painting. She took those words that were first spoken to her by a friend and held onto them...…
"I think God is going to show you how much he loves you through this process...."
“Painting is a gift that God has given me to show me that he has beauty to reveal in the midst of the hard and often mundane parts of life. Somewhere along the road of life, I picked up this idea that life had to look a certain way. God is showing me that the things I never dreamed of doing as a little girl or young adult are the very things that he wants to give me.”
School is ending for Kelly's kids this week. Her house will soon be filled with teenagers and her calendar filled with summer plans. She’s not really sure where this painting journey is going or how often she will have time to paint, but she does know that it is something that she will continue to do. Looking back, she now sees that the random bits of creativity throughout her life that she thought meant nothing were actually the very things that God was using to reveal himself to her.
“God has taken a creative passion that He placed inside of me and has used it to teach me more about myself and about Him. Painting has helped me to see myself with a new identity. I am loved. I am free."
That sounds like a whole lot of something to me.
