It was a warm afternoon in October.  I was sitting at my desk grading papers when a couple of students showed up at my classroom door.  They wanted to know if they could ask me a few questions for a school newspaper column that they were writing about teachers.  Happy to take a break from the fury of my red pen, I eagerly sat for my interview.  After covering the basics, they switched gears and posed a very middle school question that I hadn't thought about in a long time....

"If you could have one super power, what would it be?" 

"I want the power to not need sleep," I shot back. "Do you know how much I could get done from midnight to 4am?"   
​I thought it was the most fantastic answer in the world.  The students, bless their hearts, appeased me with a polite comment, gathered their things, and left.  A short time later, the paper was published and as I read the column with my interview, I realized that they never asked me what name I would call myself as a super studded hero of the world.  Clearly, I would need one that paid tribute to my sleep defying feats.  Something like.. "Sleepless Shera" or "Narcoleptic No More."  Better yet, how about "Awakened Avenger"?  A new name to fit the real me?  That would be a non-negotiable.

The Bible talks about new names all of the time.  Over and over again, Jesus says that He has come to make us new. God was all about the name changing business; Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Saul to Paul, and more.  But here’s the thing...he didn’t just change their name.  He gave them a new identity. And I’m not talking about a little makeover.  I’m talking about a radical, life changing, soul defining transformation.  There’s no denying it.  These people were made new.  God changed their hearts and transformed their minds and it was nothing short of miraculous.

Can I tell you something?  Most days, I feel like I need a miracle as well.

I don't have to look too far in life to find something to worry about.  Contrast that with the world of social media where everything is picture perfect and I'm left wondering what and who is really for real anymore. That kind of mindset tends to isolate me.  I shrink back.  I only show the best parts of myself to others.  I compare.  And before you know it, the fear sets in; fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of rejection, fear of what I can't control.  That's not the abundant life that Jesus promises in John 10:10. We were made to push back the darkness of this world with God's help, and in order to do that, I need to be able to be honest and vulnerable about the dark clouds in life because they are there and I'm struggling to face them.  And I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, you might feel the same way.  I'm betting on the fact that you might be looking for a little freedom in your life as well; that there are some people left out there who are tired of trying to be perfect and brave on their own.  

And so, I'm setting out on a quest to be free from all of the pressure, all of the striving, all of the fears. And that, my friends, is going to require some serious soul searching, heart examining, mind renewing work.  Every. Single. Day. 

This journey of overcoming fear is not going to look perfect, but it is going to be beautiful.  That is the one thing that I know for sure.  God wants to meet me in the midst of every uncertainty, and exchange the unkowns in life for His promises.  ​

And how about a new name to go along with this adventure?  One that reflects my desire to face the situations in my life with a little more grace and hopeful anticipation.  A name that represents a little bit of guts and whole lot of faith.  Guinevere is a Cornish name from which my name,  Jennifer, comes from.  I just love it.  It sounds so Braveheart, doesn’t it?  It’s a name that says…”Let’s go slay some giants, people!” I think I'm finally ready to do just that.

So, hand me my sword.  Deliver my shield.  I’m cleaning house and making some changes, and only shaking a little bit at the thought of it all.   

                                                                                                      photo credit: Brittany Martin​, deargracephotography.com

About Jen Redmon....
I live in the heart of Central Pennsylvania with my husband, two children, and narcissistic dog named Nitro.  When I'm not teaching or going for long runs to work out the crazy, I like to dream of a life of reckless abandon & write down the words that help make me brave.